Posts Tagged With: life

The venture past comfort, and into magnificence…

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I tried diligently to make this into a poem…but 3 sit in my computer’s trashcan. I felt as though this topic should be expressed more similarly to the words I would speak. (P.S. Sorry for the lull in my writing…the sense seemed to vanish in the transfer from my mind to paper.)

I spend many nights worrying about where I am headed in life…career, location, and mental condition. I know this seems foolish, beings that I am only fourteen years old. My sister and I went to public schools through my freshman year and her sophomore. That being said, we are very familiar with what public schools feel like and had a stable basis to make our decision to become home schooled. We are both very good students, likable people, and had no problem “fitting in” at public schools. We had straight A’s all through elementary school, middle school, and the part of high school we attended. There was no struggle for either the academics nor social life. Our decision to become home schooled was based on our need to learn at a faster pace, and our yearn for freedom.

Public school for some students is great. It gives working parents a daycare for their kids and provides the sometimes much needed routine in kids lives. You learn the basics of responsibility and communication, and you learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. I am glad I attended public schools for the time I did. However, sometimes when I think about still being in public schools, I feel trapped. I feel like I am sitting in neutral with no ability to shift into drive.

Having the opportunity to be home schooled was a blessing (thanks Mom!). I feel free and smart and independent. I have a blank page at my fingertips with every color available. A common misconception about home schooled students is that we are antisocial and never get out of the house. When people make snarly comments about the home school stereotype, I almost chuckle under my breath. Being home schooled has made me the opposite of that.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about life. We go to school to prepare ourselves for life; then at twenty years old, we set off to become something suitable for society. But what is the definition of success? Making all A’s through high school, going to college, and choosing a good paying career? I always pictured myself doing just that. However, since we made the change, I not only feel stronger in my academic ability, but stronger as a human being. Being different is tough. It’s hard to get the average person to understand…therefore I suppose that’s why they are average. Having the yearn and the confidence to break away from everything you’ve ever known is difficult. You get looks and questions and furrowed brows. But when I grow old, I want a story to tell. I want a depth to my childhood. And most importantly, I want to develop a tough skin to face the rest of my life.

When I picture my life in ten years, I see a blurry picture. But in reality, what kid has their life totally planned? Of course I want to go to college, I want to own my own house, I want to live somewhere that makes me happy, and I want feel thrill as a part of everyday life. Writing down the things I want is the easy part, but making that happen will have to be worked on with each bridge I cross. But really the biggest challenge is figuring out in my own head what would accomplish those hopes and goals…and that, will take many years of trial and error.

When things are all said and done, my goal in life is to do the things I want to do. I want to experience things worth experiencing and I want to leave the world having done something I’m proud of. I want to make my own decisions, be my own person, and be happy wherever life takes me. But as a part of being me, I want to create dirt paths veering off from the pavement. As I travel down my path, I will stumble upon gloomy premises and dark nights. I will be frightened and will think of the worst case scenario. But when I reach the ravishing blue skies and waterfalls, I will know that my path is the only one that ended up here, past comfort and into magnificence.

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Categories: Inspirational, Life, Mind, People, Reflective, Things about me | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Journey with Friends

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Why are friends, friends?

With what rubric are friends chosen?

I have cringed at the fact that our friends are based upon who we go to school with

Becoming home schooled..

I’ve had to make a special effort to find things in common besides math class

Some would think that being home schooled would mean a lack of friends

And so did I, as we made the move from a classroom to my kitchen table

But to my surprise I have come closer to the people whom I wish to “bond” with

By not being privy to the latest gossip at school…

I’ve had to do things outside of school in order to maintain the friendships I value

Being home schooled, I’ve realized that the memories worth saving forever

Are the fun memories of tubing and skiing and sledding

And long walks and adventures into the depths of the woods

And having deep conversations about life

And forming a bond with your friend..cleansed of gossip

You may be able to “chat” with any Tom, Bob, or Harry

But a true friendship must be based not on the lives of the “hottest couple in school”

But rather experiences and journeys together

 

To My Dearest Friend Alli,

 

Words cannot express how much I value your friendship…

 

Through ups and downs

Through smiles and frowns

Through drought or snowy weather

Through pain, we’ll be together

With many moments cherished

With memories until we’re perished

With humor and wit

With a seal difficult to split

Life is a journey

With the level of difficulty depending on how you face it…

And with confidence I can proclaim

That a journey with friendship

Is a journey worth embarking upon

 

Thank you for being my friend

And here’s to many more years of dirt roads and knapsacks…

 

With love,

Mesa

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Love, People, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Circling Heart

In my dreams there you are

In reality where’d you go

Everything was so perfect

Like crisp white snow

You were you and I was me

Because you are the best you there will ever be

You made me laugh and smile

And I wondered if this would last a while

Just when I’m sure that this could be real

I lose all confidence

You disappear

Back into isolation I go

My heart is heavy

And my dreams are slow

The once crisp white snow is melted and brown

For where my heart takes me, I’ve never found

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Love, Poetry, Reflective | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Regret

So much of our lives are wasted by regret

Something you did wrong

Something you wish you could forget

And although it may make bits and pieces of your life vary

Differences should not be scary

You were meant to be sent on the path that you’re on

So live life to the fullest before it’s gone

We shouldn’t worry about something we can’t change

The past is the past and the future remains…

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Poetry, Reflective, Writing | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Popularity in the Sea

A body that sways

For a ways throughout the maize

Trying not to get eaten

And as small as he may be

Not talking but he can see

That the big ones swim shallow

And he deep

For nothing more than to fall off a cliff, so steep

And when the little guy gives it a shot

To become something he’s not

He’s left there to rot

It’s the big ones’ plot

And when he grows old

He wants his species to be told

About the sharks that scold

Before their life is a mold

Don’t keep watching the clocks

They’ll keep throwing rocks

Pushing you until you can’t take their crap

Thinking they’ve got the map

But someday they’ll see

That the little guy’s the one with the key

To life that is

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Poetry, Reflective | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Brainstorm

The lightning strikes.

The thunder booms.

The ideas come falling from the clouds that are my brain.

They land on my tongue one by one, and I savor them each.

The ones I don’t like I spit on the ground.

I am brainstorming with rain pouring and sleet falling making my head hurt with great intensity.

Though the pain is great, the feeling of ideas booming in my mind is exotic.

Things left and right, I have choices.

My mind has become a blizzard with great thoughts intermixed.

Straining to admire the glory of each, I close my eyes and let my mind wonder to places afar, bringing back ideas.

Every time I do so, boom, crash, spark!

A light bulb goes off in my head telling me what has happened in the time my eyes are resting.

Ideas in my mind are energy.

The energy that keeps my body moving at the appropriate pace.

No ideas, no movement.

No movement, no ideas.

One thing leads to the next and boom, crash, spark.

It happens at a sudden motion that leaves me speechless with only what’s behind my eyes at work.

The mind is the most powerful thing.

It is a resemblance of you.

What you have done and what you will do.

It allows your mouth to rest and your innards to move giving you a sudden spark of heat.

The power of the brain is something quite exquisite.

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Poetry, Thinking | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

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