Love the blue skies, but believe in the overcast…


The black clouds
Overtake the blue skies
The land becomes dark
But how can I despise?

For the realization of an instant
Began the agonizing thought
That nothing is the same forever
Why does this make me distraught?

I put my love and trust into forever
And now that is gone in a blink
The mourning lasts for a couple days
I can only hope the pain will shrink

When my view of everything
Was only days to come
I felt as though I had no other moves
And my once uplifting spirit was so very glum

But when the tears vanished
And my blurry vision was no more
I could see the future with determined eyes
It was like nothing I’ve felt before

For now I walk with a smile on my face
Not because loved ones can ever be replaced
But rather because I know my life has a plan
And the lesson being taught has only just begun

With that being said
The knowledge of the pain
Will be forever present in my brain
But the uttermost hurt, with time, will shed

Time with my precious kitty
Meant the world to me
And although she is gone
Her spirit lives on

My head is held high
And I do things to make myself happy
I can’t dwell on the past
Because what then is my future?

How can the dark clouds make me angry?
I have much enjoyed the blue skies
But everything must come to an end
I will muster my strength by knowing there are worse cries

You must experience the pain in order measure the pleasure
Love the clear skies, but believe in the overcast…

P.S. We got a pregnant kitty and she had five healthy kittens on Tuesday night. 🙂

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Categories: Animals, cat, Inspirational, Life, Love, pets, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The venture past comfort, and into magnificence…

I tried diligently to make this into a poem…but 3 sit in my computer’s trashcan. I felt as though this topic should be expressed more similarly to the words I would speak. (P.S. Sorry for the lull in my writing…the sense seemed to vanish in the transfer from my mind to paper.)

I spend many nights worrying about where I am headed in life…career, location, and mental condition. I know this seems foolish, beings that I am only fourteen years old. My sister and I went to public schools through my freshman year and her sophomore. That being said, we are very familiar with what public schools feel like and had a stable basis to make our decision to become home schooled. We are both very good students, likable people, and had no problem “fitting in” at public schools. We had straight A’s all through elementary school, middle school, and the part of high school we attended. There was no struggle for either the academics nor social life. Our decision to become home schooled was based on our need to learn at a faster pace, and our yearn for freedom.

Public school for some students is great. It gives working parents a daycare for their kids and provides the sometimes much needed routine in kids lives. You learn the basics of responsibility and communication, and you learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. I am glad I attended public schools for the time I did. However, sometimes when I think about still being in public schools, I feel trapped. I feel like I am sitting in neutral with no ability to shift into drive.

Having the opportunity to be home schooled was a blessing (thanks Mom!). I feel free and smart and independent. I have a blank page at my fingertips with every color available. A common misconception about home schooled students is that we are antisocial and never get out of the house. When people make snarly comments about the home school stereotype, I almost chuckle under my breath. Being home schooled has made me the opposite of that.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about life. We go to school to prepare ourselves for life; then at twenty years old, we set off to become something suitable for society. But what is the definition of success? Making all A’s through high school, going to college, and choosing a good paying career? I always pictured myself doing just that. However, since we made the change, I not only feel stronger in my academic ability, but stronger as a human being. Being different is tough. It’s hard to get the average person to understand…therefore I suppose that’s why they are average. Having the yearn and the confidence to break away from everything you’ve ever known is difficult. You get looks and questions and furrowed brows. But when I grow old, I want a story to tell. I want a depth to my childhood. And most importantly, I want to develop a tough skin to face the rest of my life.

When I picture my life in ten years, I see a blurry picture. But in reality, what kid has their life totally planned? Of course I want to go to college, I want to own my own house, I want to live somewhere that makes me happy, and I want feel thrill as a part of everyday life. Writing down the things I want is the easy part, but making that happen will have to be worked on with each bridge I cross. But really the biggest challenge is figuring out in my own head what would accomplish those hopes and goals…and that, will take many years of trial and error.

When things are all said and done, my goal in life is to do the things I want to do. I want to experience things worth experiencing and I want to leave the world having done something I’m proud of. I want to make my own decisions, be my own person, and be happy wherever life takes me. But as a part of being me, I want to create dirt paths veering off from the pavement. As I travel down my path, I will stumble upon gloomy premises and dark nights. I will be frightened and will think of the worst case scenario. But when I reach the ravishing blue skies and waterfalls, I will know that my path is the only one that ended up here, past comfort and into magnificence.

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Mind, People, Reflective, Things about me | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Birthday to my Sister

Girls in Hats 2
With her strength

I can stand

With my pain

She offers her hand

With her humor

I giggle

With her tickles

I wiggle

With her open arms

I fall

With her uplifting spirit

I stand tall

With her sadness

I mourn

With my wrongdoings

She scorns

With her mother-like qualities

I am cared for

With her warm heart

I will be loved forever more

I want to wish my big sister and best friend a Happy 16th Birthday! Thank you for all you’ve done for me and for giving me a friendship that will last forever…I am truly honored to have you as my sister. You are my role model and I look up to you in every way. Happy Birthday! I love you!

Categories: Life, Love, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Enough Hot Water

We have a second house on the lake that we visit only occasionally in the winter. We will go and spend a night here and there just to check on things. I was ready to take a shower and had to turn the water heater up so that I could leisure in the toastiest of conditions. The water hadn’t quite reached the temperature I wanted, however I jumped in, being my impatient self. I turned the water only hot enough to be “comfortable”. I definitely would have preferred for it to be scolding. For some reason, I would not allow myself to turn it all the way to “HOT”. It was as if I turned it all the way up, I wouldn’t have that reassurance that it could get hotter. Even though I would be happier if the water was warmer, I didn’t want to experience “the best it could be”. While standing in the shower, I realized that this scenario occurred in everyday life as well. Sometimes we settle for things that are “okay” instead of “excellent” because we are scared to give it our all. Sometimes we are scared to really put ourselves out there for the fear of being hurt or disappointed. We accept the bare minimum so there’s no way to fail. If I turned the shower all the way up, I was afraid that I would use all of the hot water and it would get cold. If the water had gotten cold, then I would have been uncomfortable and disappointed. I am a very reserved person. I would rather sit in the corner in silence then carry on a conversation with someone. I envy people who can walk up to a stranger and hold a conversation. I know that I could probably handle this task decently, but I am scared to put myself out there and really give it my best effort. If I sit in the corner, no harm is done and I can’t get hurt. For a while, this seemed like the best option for me. But then I realized that I needed to turn the water all the way up. I needed to branch out and meet new people. Because even though there is a possibility of failure, and disappointment, and pain, there is also a possibility of success. And there just might be enough hot water…

Categories: Inspirational, Life, People, Reflective, Things about me, World | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

I remember when…

Girls in Tree

I remember when…

The word “fun” was associated with the outdoors

I remember when…

We came inside with grass spots on our jeans

A little mud beneath a fingernail didn’t spark a conversation

Our lack of patience for darkness was for the fireflies

And we knew the sound of the crickets

I remember when…

Rain didn’t mean frizzy hair

Everyone called the creek their “pool”

Neighborhood friends devised intricate plans

And a walk down the road was an exciting venture

I remember when…

Laughs were contagious

Smiles were pure

Frowns were rare

And we played on the jungle gym created by mother nature

I remember when…

The call for dinner was a disturbance

The holes in our jeans were accidental

We had more play clothes than nice clothes

And the art of creation was exhibited by our little fingertips daily

I remember when…

The clouds were bunnies

The air was clean

Being naughty had a different definition

And fun was created rather than being placed in our hands

I remember when…

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Passion, Reflective, Things about me | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Journey with Friends

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Why are friends, friends?

With what rubric are friends chosen?

I have cringed at the fact that our friends are based upon who we go to school with

Becoming home schooled..

I’ve had to make a special effort to find things in common besides math class

Some would think that being home schooled would mean a lack of friends

And so did I, as we made the move from a classroom to my kitchen table

But to my surprise I have come closer to the people whom I wish to “bond” with

By not being privy to the latest gossip at school…

I’ve had to do things outside of school in order to maintain the friendships I value

Being home schooled, I’ve realized that the memories worth saving forever

Are the fun memories of tubing and skiing and sledding

And long walks and adventures into the depths of the woods

And having deep conversations about life

And forming a bond with your friend..cleansed of gossip

You may be able to “chat” with any Tom, Bob, or Harry

But a true friendship must be based not on the lives of the “hottest couple in school”

But rather experiences and journeys together


To My Dearest Friend Alli,


Words cannot express how much I value your friendship…


Through ups and downs

Through smiles and frowns

Through drought or snowy weather

Through pain, we’ll be together

With many moments cherished

With memories until we’re perished

With humor and wit

With a seal difficult to split

Life is a journey

With the level of difficulty depending on how you face it…

And with confidence I can proclaim

That a journey with friendship

Is a journey worth embarking upon


Thank you for being my friend

And here’s to many more years of dirt roads and knapsacks…


With love,


Categories: Inspirational, Life, Love, People, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Producing Reality?


We go to the theaters and watch happy endings

But why are the movies so different from real life?

Would the movie be a hit if it ended in tragedy?

What if the conflict is not resolved?

The public couldn’t see something like that

What a horrible scenario we would have to endure

Isn’t it nice to watch a divorced couple get back together

Just before the wedding to another mate

Or long term friendships sprout into love

The good guys always win

Just when you think they are outnumbered

There is always one guy who comes in and saves the day

Are there only a few story lines that send us home happy?

And is that even one of the jobs of the producer?

Can we not watch as sorrow overcomes?

If we experience a realistic ending, would we enjoy the movie?

Or would we rather see something that seldom happens?

Most movies are the best case scenario where everything works out in the end

Everything doesn’t always work out in the end…

Is society so weak that we won’t handle reality?

Is this why we go to the theaters?

So that we can watch only what we want to see?

Here we are on this planet

All we can see is green grass and a blue sky

Could our population handle what we see when the backdrop gets taken away?

We have been shielded and protected from what we weren’t meant to witness

And when everything is sugarcoated…

It is hard to differenciate between reality and merely a dream

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The sound of the Earth

The time for thought

The miracle looming

Peace to the ears


Speaking to you without using words

Depending on other senses to define your surroundings

Finding solitude in the midst of chaos

Taking time to observe the things that don’t get much attention


The opposite of turbulence

The desire of the loner

It’s difficult to find

And frivolous for people who have not journeyed beneath the surface


A sacred moment for those who wish to experience it

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The Road Less Traveled

I look around

And am surrounded

I glance ahead

And see darkness

The road is long

The line in the middle is faded

And there is nothing of greatness in view

How do I keep walking

When there is nothing to look forward to

I run into this dilemma daily

When there is no inspiration

It is hard to continue

However, just because greatness is not in view

Does not mean it is not there

Many times what you see can be deceiving

And this is why people quit

They don’t see anything and therefore assume there is nothing

To be a successful person

You must have the eye to see beyond

You must look at a situation and interpret it differently

Because greatness does not magically appear at your fingertips

You must keep walking and uncover what is held beneath the weeds

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Passion, Reflective, Thinking | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

When the Sun Stops Shining…

When the sun stops shining…

The world will be floating in a shadow of despair

People will die

The Earth will be dark and cold

And there will be nothing

But the remnants of a torn apart world

A world that was put on a path to success from creation

But the people who make up the world had their own plans

For when the Earth stopped for a split second in hopes of signaling

The people went deaf

They did not zoom out to see the distraught universe

They had only tunnel vision and saw their own narrow path

Therefore with closed eyes, they marched along with their doom in hand

Holding it up and shouting that they had reached perfection

But when they got to the end

And opened their self centered eyes

They saw black dust and smoke

And the place they called home was being destroyed


The people with their faces of despondence

Started to cry

And through their tears

They continued to put each other at fault for what transpired

When all they had to do was open their eyes and see

That what could have saved the world

Is selflessness

And unity and love for the home they were given

For when the sun stops shining

I will understand it’s reason

What pleasure truly comes from working without appreciation?

When you can keep your heat and light for yourself

Just following the ways of the people

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