Inspirational

Curly haired girls want straight & vise versa

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We always hear that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. And it does seem as if it is. Why is that? Perhaps it’s not that the grass is really greener, but we are looking at the grass on the other side with such positive and upbeat thoughts. We do this at difficult times in our lives because we convince ourselves that the other side must be so much better. That is, until we venture to the other side and realize that the color is the same and it struggles in the same drought.

Social media plays a huge role in this. We see a post from someone else and think that they are someplace magnificent having a ton of fun. And then we wonder why we aren’t having that much fun. Comparison is such a natural thing. We always want to make sure we are “competitive” with others and still hip with the coolest styles and best places to venture.

The best feeling in the world is being satisfied with yourself, confident in yourself, and happy for yourself. When you are these things, it’s easier to look at someone else’s life with genuine happiness for them and less jealousy of them and the things they are doing.

It is no secret that our lives move in swings. We will go through some really difficult times, think that life stinks, and not want to participate in society. Then, things get a little better and our life becomes just average. Then, things start getting better and better and we realize that we are in fact awesome people who have so much to offer the world. The problem is being naive enough to think that one of these stages lasts forever. The stages come and go, your outlook on each stage is the only thing you can control.

So make a loose promise to yourself to make the best of each stage. Know that your life will get messy and crazy, but also know that’s what makes it fun. Embrace the times when you are a mess and also embrace the times when you are well put together.

I have curly hair. And when I say curly, I mean lion’s mane crazy puffy curly hair. For the longest time, I was so jealous of the girls who had naturally straight hair. It seemed that they could just wake up in the morning and look flawless. Little did I know, they woke up in the morning trying to get their hair to hold a curl.

We all want what we don’t have, but today, let’s want what we have. Let’s know that the grass is equally green on both sides of the fence. Have confidence in your grass, your life, (and your hair).

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Categories: 2016, confidence, happy, Inspirational, Life, Love, Mind, Passion, People, Perspective, Reflective, Secure, Success, Thinking, understand, words, World, Writing | 4 Comments

The Mysteries in Hiding

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The following poem is a mixture of so many feelings. Some of those feelings can’t be put into words, so they turn out to be a mix of words that in no way express the feeling. Point of story—you don’t always have to make sense. Your story is in you. So know that you are amazing. And you will be successful. Let the world inspire you not to make sense. But write about it anyway, because one day, you will look back and remember those feelings through your words that made no sense.

What feelings I have to express
To put me in a world so deep
As to manipulate what I know is right
To sit here and weep

And what we all want is the same
But the approach reaches all ends of the spectrum
For the yearning to make a difference is so powerful
But to find the way is too tough

So we carry on with our sticks
We keep throwing our stones
Knowing the result could be prosperous
But the journey exhausting

I make promises to myself
Some go unthought about
But most linger
Making me furious

If I cannot achieve
How do I say
That I can change the world
It’s one step away

But the beautiful photos
The miraculous places
Only seem that way to those without experience
The problem is the experience

We are in the todays
In the truth
The light that’s always shining
The darkness always waiting

Take your time in the light
As much as you need
But know that the memories
Are always there for the fun

Change the world for yourself
By yourself
And in no regard to the mysteries
Keep the mysteries in hiding

Categories: 2016, confidence, Inspirational, Life, Love, Mind, Passion, People, Poetry, Reflective, Success, Thinking, understand, words, World, Writing | Leave a comment

Happy New Year

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Happy New Year fellow bloggers! May your 2016 be filled with great achievements, kind words, and beautiful places.

For those of you who make New Year’s resolutions, how long do they last? Speaking for myself, I’d be lucky to make it the month of January. That being said, I don’t make resolutions necessarily. Rather, I improve my way of life throughout the whole year, or try at least.

I push myself to become a better person. I push myself to become “good” at something that interests me. I push myself to be kind and do things for the greater good of everyone, not just myself.

Steps to do these things can be minor. For example, I have a fascination in pictures. I enjoy taking pictures, being in pictures, organizing pictures, and editing pictures. My instinct every time after a picture is taken is the see how I look in the picture. If I don’t look decent, the picture becomes “not good” in my mind. It doesn’t matter how anyone else looks because I didn’t even look at them.

As a part of my progress of becoming a better person, I have told myself to look at the picture as a whole before I look at anything else. Is the lighting acceptable? How about the location? Does everyone have their eyes open? At the moment, I can successfully do those things and then I look at myself. Maybe one day, I can do those things and then look at everyone else before myself.

It’s a minor goal, I realize. But I feel as though little things such as this go further in shaping my life. Yes, I could make an elaborate New Year’s resolution and try to convince myself that I can achieve it. However, goals are meant to push yourself just enough, but they must allow you to see success.

I wish I was able to put my head to one thing and stick with it. Some of you can and you achieve amazing things because of it. That is one quality I wish I had and hope to have in the future. I believe there’s a trick to it. The trick is probably different for everyone. My trick is using small things to practice such as changing the way you look at pictures. Then when you get proficient at small activities, challenge yourself a little more.

My hope for all of you is achievement this year. Big or small, accomplishment is encouraging.

I’ll be rooting for you! Please root for me as well.

I have a great feeling about 2016. It’s my high school graduation year! I’ve been waiting for this year for a long time. I get the opportunity to go to college and learn to be on my own. Not to mention, I get to pursue my dream career of being a nurse. I can’t wait for all the opportunities and although the shift to adulthood will be tough, BRING IT ON!

Happy New Year! Life is good…

Categories: 2016, confidence, Inspirational, Life, Mind, New Year, Passion, People, Reflective, Success, Thankful, World, Writing | Leave a comment

How does an average girl thrive?

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How does an average girl thrive?

I’m just an average girl still deciding where to part my hair…

I’m just an average girl who’s makeup looks different everyday…

I’m just an average girl trying to conquer my own style…

I’m just an average girl with average problems and an average judgment on life

My message to the world is this: there are more average people in the world than not. So how do average people thrive among others? The answer is they don’t. They do not thrive among others. To others, they are not special. Be special to yourself.

I do thrive. I thrive in my world. I think I am a cool person. I admire my extreme bedhead and I am in awe of how my hair can get in such an awesome position. I enjoy writing because I inspire myself. I like playing tennis because it is a fun sport, not because I’m that great at it. I think going to school is fine because I usually daydream and am content in my own mind. Sometimes I don’t do my makeup very well (mostly because I’m not good at it) just so I can look in the mirror and laugh at myself. When I get haircuts, I get it cut to that awkward length between long and short to remind myself that I am neither one. I am in the middle. I am the middle class that doesn’t stand out. My fingers are long and crooked. Sometimes I paint my nails in hopes that I become a hand model. But I don’t. Because my fingers are still crooked even with painted nails. I am claustrophobic. I can play such a mind game that I can make myself claustrophobic in an open room. Sometimes I write with my opposite hand and claim I am ambidextrous. But I am not. Even though the words look okay when I’m finished, it takes me a while to write it because my hand is shaky. I don’t have one store where I buy my jeans. It’s usually where I can find an extra long, because I’m tall. I don’t buy expensive prom dresses, and I certainly don’t get my hair and makeup done. I do it myself and see if I look just as decent as everyone else. My handwriting isn’t big and plump, nor small and neat. In fact, on two different days, my writing looks like it came from two different people. My legs are never shaved at the right times if at all. I never know the latest fashion, but I try to catch up just as it’s slipping away. I might be a little late to the trend, but I make my own trend since it’s so long after everyone else. I don’t have a favorite artist or band. I’m not into acting or music. I can sit in complete silence and think of something funny and laugh like a hyena. Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times or pick up on the punch line a little late. People will say things to me and I’ll smile and nod because I have no idea what they’re talking about. I have a lot of issues that stem from three things sticking up in a row. That probably doesn’t make sense but it’s like staring at a train wreck. You want to look away because it disgusts you, but you just can’t look away. I get chills from hearing a metal spoon touch the bottom of a metal pan. I’m not good at decorating things. I’m an extreme control freak. I think I can do anything. I trust myself more than anyone else. Sometimes I tell myself to remember a certain moment just to see if I can remember it months later. Sometimes I can, but most of the time I don’t. I really like looking at clocks and making patterns. I don’t like odd, prime numbers. They irk me. I’m superstitious and make my own superstitions. I like talking to myself in a mirror. I question mirrors a lot, and I try to convince myself that maybe I don’t look like what I see in the mirror just like I don’t think I sound like what I do on recordings. I don’t like movies, really. Action movies are okay. I like sitcoms and TV shows in which I can relate. I don’t like eating the standard three meals a day. I prefer to eat when I’m hungry and the amount I eat depends on how hungry I am. I love to people watch and hate when I’m staring at someone and they keep catching me staring. I wish they would just go along with their business and let me watch them. I never have the right things to say, and later I laugh at myself for being so socially awkward. I’m a different person to everyone I encounter. I’m not sure why or how, it just happens. I can keep a secret like no one’s business. I try not to lie, and when I do, it’s because I convince myself it’s the truth. I like taking pictures of strange things to look at later. I like taking pictures when people are laughing because it’s so natural. I get super anxious in situations with lots of people around. My favorite animal is a pig. I’m not sure why. I like stuffed animal pigs and paintings of pigs but not so much real life sows. They aren’t as cute. I hate when people yell at me or even raise their voice. In fact, I hate when other people are getting yelled at; it makes me feel awkward and embarrassed for them. I’m super scatterbrained and have to really push myself to focus in one area. I give everyone an equal chance of leaving their imprint on me. I’m like sand, footprints come and go, but I hold onto the ones worth holding onto. The footprint doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to be interesting to me. Many things are interesting to me. And the footprints I like most are the ones without painted toenails. Don’t try to fool me, I can tell if the toenails are painted. I can also tell if the toenails are painted but don’t look quite right. I try to tell these footprints how much alike we are.

These things I like to call quirks about me. Everyone has them. Some of them are insecurities, some are just little tidbits about the way I operate and how I think. The crazy thing about insecurities is how simple they are and how abundant. The trick to dealing with your insecurities is to claim them. Shout it out loud that you’re secure about yourself. I am my own best friend. I like having friends but my power comes from thriving when I am alone. If you love who you are, everyone else will too. My style may not be in the clothes I wear but in the quirks I have and the way I embrace them. Everything in this world is a beautiful thing. Everything you encounter is there to help you become who you are. Challenges? That’s life. Confidence? That’s success…

Categories: confidence, Inspirational, Life, Mind, Passion, People, Quirks, Reflective, Secure, Thankful, Things about me, Thinking, World, Writing | Leave a comment

1, 2, 3, 4, …….5

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You go through stages in life. For a long while, you’re obsessed with yourself. Everything revolves around what you want and what best accommodates you. This stage goes from birth to a variety of different ages, depending on the person. The next stage is the transition from being obsessed with yourself. You wouldn’t think a transition would have it’s own stage, but it very well does. It’s a crucial stage because this is when you give up a little selfishness. You try to decide if it’s what you really want, because everyone holds on to a little self-obsession. The third stage is the bliss. It’s the utterly beautiful time in your life. It’s when nothing seems to go wrong. You are happy all the time and sometimes laugh midst pure silence, because you are just that happy. This stage may take one year, it may take five. Regardless, you don’t know how long it is because you are so happy. Stage three goes by so quickly and before you realize it, it is gone. Perhaps at the end of this stage, you say something like, “Time needs to slow down; I can’t believe it’s already ____”. When you make this wish, you don’t think it will really happen. You expect time to pass just as quickly. However, time granted your wish and it does slow down. Welcome to stage four. This stage kills the buzz of stage three, slightly. You brush your teeth and stare in the mirror more often in stage four. You have a little more time for the simple things. You might even start flossing in this stage. You may doodle or read or get a facial. Maybe a massage here or there, even though you are still young. You try to catch your breath in stage four; you try to rest. That’s not to say you don’t go out bowling on a Friday night or ski in a calm bay at the lake. You might roll your coins and cash them in at the bank or paint your toenails a soft shade of pink. You may look at someone’s faded swimming trucks and smile, because you were the one with them through the fading. Stage four is a smooth stage. This time is special because you feed your self obsession with entertainment from the world. And I suppose stage five is next. I have not lived to see stage five yet. I’m looking forward to it.

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Love the blue skies, but believe in the overcast…

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The black clouds
Overtake the blue skies
The land becomes dark
But how can I despise?

For the realization of an instant
Began the agonizing thought
That nothing is the same forever
Why does this make me distraught?

I put my love and trust into forever
And now that is gone in a blink
The mourning lasts for a couple days
I can only hope the pain will shrink

When my view of everything
Was only days to come
I felt as though I had no other moves
And my once uplifting spirit was so very glum

But when the tears vanished
And my blurry vision was no more
I could see the future with determined eyes
It was like nothing I’ve felt before

For now I walk with a smile on my face
Not because loved ones can ever be replaced
But rather because I know my life has a plan
And the lesson being taught has only just begun

With that being said
The knowledge of the pain
Will be forever present in my brain
But the uttermost hurt, with time, will shed

Time with my precious kitty
Meant the world to me
And although she is gone
Her spirit lives on

My head is held high
And I do things to make myself happy
I can’t dwell on the past
Because what then is my future?

How can the dark clouds make me angry?
I have much enjoyed the blue skies
But everything must come to an end
I will muster my strength by knowing there are worse cries

You must experience the pain in order measure the pleasure
Love the clear skies, but believe in the overcast…

P.S. We got a pregnant kitty and she had five healthy kittens on Tuesday night. 🙂

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Categories: Animals, cat, Inspirational, Life, Love, pets, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The venture past comfort, and into magnificence…

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I tried diligently to make this into a poem…but 3 sit in my computer’s trashcan. I felt as though this topic should be expressed more similarly to the words I would speak. (P.S. Sorry for the lull in my writing…the sense seemed to vanish in the transfer from my mind to paper.)

I spend many nights worrying about where I am headed in life…career, location, and mental condition. I know this seems foolish, beings that I am only fourteen years old. My sister and I went to public schools through my freshman year and her sophomore. That being said, we are very familiar with what public schools feel like and had a stable basis to make our decision to become home schooled. We are both very good students, likable people, and had no problem “fitting in” at public schools. We had straight A’s all through elementary school, middle school, and the part of high school we attended. There was no struggle for either the academics nor social life. Our decision to become home schooled was based on our need to learn at a faster pace, and our yearn for freedom.

Public school for some students is great. It gives working parents a daycare for their kids and provides the sometimes much needed routine in kids lives. You learn the basics of responsibility and communication, and you learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. I am glad I attended public schools for the time I did. However, sometimes when I think about still being in public schools, I feel trapped. I feel like I am sitting in neutral with no ability to shift into drive.

Having the opportunity to be home schooled was a blessing (thanks Mom!). I feel free and smart and independent. I have a blank page at my fingertips with every color available. A common misconception about home schooled students is that we are antisocial and never get out of the house. When people make snarly comments about the home school stereotype, I almost chuckle under my breath. Being home schooled has made me the opposite of that.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about life. We go to school to prepare ourselves for life; then at twenty years old, we set off to become something suitable for society. But what is the definition of success? Making all A’s through high school, going to college, and choosing a good paying career? I always pictured myself doing just that. However, since we made the change, I not only feel stronger in my academic ability, but stronger as a human being. Being different is tough. It’s hard to get the average person to understand…therefore I suppose that’s why they are average. Having the yearn and the confidence to break away from everything you’ve ever known is difficult. You get looks and questions and furrowed brows. But when I grow old, I want a story to tell. I want a depth to my childhood. And most importantly, I want to develop a tough skin to face the rest of my life.

When I picture my life in ten years, I see a blurry picture. But in reality, what kid has their life totally planned? Of course I want to go to college, I want to own my own house, I want to live somewhere that makes me happy, and I want feel thrill as a part of everyday life. Writing down the things I want is the easy part, but making that happen will have to be worked on with each bridge I cross. But really the biggest challenge is figuring out in my own head what would accomplish those hopes and goals…and that, will take many years of trial and error.

When things are all said and done, my goal in life is to do the things I want to do. I want to experience things worth experiencing and I want to leave the world having done something I’m proud of. I want to make my own decisions, be my own person, and be happy wherever life takes me. But as a part of being me, I want to create dirt paths veering off from the pavement. As I travel down my path, I will stumble upon gloomy premises and dark nights. I will be frightened and will think of the worst case scenario. But when I reach the ravishing blue skies and waterfalls, I will know that my path is the only one that ended up here, past comfort and into magnificence.

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Enough Hot Water

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We have a second house on the lake that we visit only occasionally in the winter. We will go and spend a night here and there just to check on things. I was ready to take a shower and had to turn the water heater up so that I could leisure in the toastiest of conditions. The water hadn’t quite reached the temperature I wanted, however I jumped in, being my impatient self. I turned the water only hot enough to be “comfortable”. I definitely would have preferred for it to be scolding. For some reason, I would not allow myself to turn it all the way to “HOT”. It was as if I turned it all the way up, I wouldn’t have that reassurance that it could get hotter. Even though I would be happier if the water was warmer, I didn’t want to experience “the best it could be”. While standing in the shower, I realized that this scenario occurred in everyday life as well. Sometimes we settle for things that are “okay” instead of “excellent” because we are scared to give it our all. Sometimes we are scared to really put ourselves out there for the fear of being hurt or disappointed. We accept the bare minimum so there’s no way to fail. If I turned the shower all the way up, I was afraid that I would use all of the hot water and it would get cold. If the water had gotten cold, then I would have been uncomfortable and disappointed. I am a very reserved person. I would rather sit in the corner in silence then carry on a conversation with someone. I envy people who can walk up to a stranger and hold a conversation. I know that I could probably handle this task decently, but I am scared to put myself out there and really give it my best effort. If I sit in the corner, no harm is done and I can’t get hurt. For a while, this seemed like the best option for me. But then I realized that I needed to turn the water all the way up. I needed to branch out and meet new people. Because even though there is a possibility of failure, and disappointment, and pain, there is also a possibility of success. And there just might be enough hot water…

Categories: Inspirational, Life, People, Reflective, Things about me, World | Tags: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

I remember when…

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I remember when…

The word “fun” was associated with the outdoors

I remember when…

We came inside with grass spots on our jeans

A little mud beneath a fingernail didn’t spark a conversation

Our lack of patience for darkness was for the fireflies

And we knew the sound of the crickets

I remember when…

Rain didn’t mean frizzy hair

Everyone called the creek their “pool”

Neighborhood friends devised intricate plans

And a walk down the road was an exciting venture

I remember when…

Laughs were contagious

Smiles were pure

Frowns were rare

And we played on the jungle gym created by mother nature

I remember when…

The call for dinner was a disturbance

The holes in our jeans were accidental

We had more play clothes than nice clothes

And the art of creation was exhibited by our little fingertips daily

I remember when…

The clouds were bunnies

The air was clean

Being naughty had a different definition

And fun was created rather than being placed in our hands

I remember when…

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A Journey with Friends

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Why are friends, friends?

With what rubric are friends chosen?

I have cringed at the fact that our friends are based upon who we go to school with

Becoming home schooled..

I’ve had to make a special effort to find things in common besides math class

Some would think that being home schooled would mean a lack of friends

And so did I, as we made the move from a classroom to my kitchen table

But to my surprise I have come closer to the people whom I wish to “bond” with

By not being privy to the latest gossip at school…

I’ve had to do things outside of school in order to maintain the friendships I value

Being home schooled, I’ve realized that the memories worth saving forever

Are the fun memories of tubing and skiing and sledding

And long walks and adventures into the depths of the woods

And having deep conversations about life

And forming a bond with your friend..cleansed of gossip

You may be able to “chat” with any Tom, Bob, or Harry

But a true friendship must be based not on the lives of the “hottest couple in school”

But rather experiences and journeys together

 

To My Dearest Friend Alli,

 

Words cannot express how much I value your friendship…

 

Through ups and downs

Through smiles and frowns

Through drought or snowy weather

Through pain, we’ll be together

With many moments cherished

With memories until we’re perished

With humor and wit

With a seal difficult to split

Life is a journey

With the level of difficulty depending on how you face it…

And with confidence I can proclaim

That a journey with friendship

Is a journey worth embarking upon

 

Thank you for being my friend

And here’s to many more years of dirt roads and knapsacks…

 

With love,

Mesa

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Love, People, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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