The Mysteries in Hiding

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The following poem is a mixture of so many feelings. Some of those feelings can’t be put into words, so they turn out to be a mix of words that in no way express the feeling. Point of story—you don’t always have to make sense. Your story is in you. So know that you are amazing. And you will be successful. Let the world inspire you not to make sense. But write about it anyway, because one day, you will look back and remember those feelings through your words that made no sense.

What feelings I have to express
To put me in a world so deep
As to manipulate what I know is right
To sit here and weep

And what we all want is the same
But the approach reaches all ends of the spectrum
For the yearning to make a difference is so powerful
But to find the way is too tough

So we carry on with our sticks
We keep throwing our stones
Knowing the result could be prosperous
But the journey exhausting

I make promises to myself
Some go unthought about
But most linger
Making me furious

If I cannot achieve
How do I say
That I can change the world
It’s one step away

But the beautiful photos
The miraculous places
Only seem that way to those without experience
The problem is the experience

We are in the todays
In the truth
The light that’s always shining
The darkness always waiting

Take your time in the light
As much as you need
But know that the memories
Are always there for the fun

Change the world for yourself
By yourself
And in no regard to the mysteries
Keep the mysteries in hiding

Categories: 2016, confidence, Inspirational, Life, Love, Mind, Passion, People, Poetry, Reflective, Success, Thinking, understand, words, World, Writing | Leave a comment

The Same Stairway To Different Lives

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A question that has always made me wonder…

If myself and one other person are looking at the same situation, do we see it the same way?

I have dreams that show a location in my house and I see the location in a different way. For 17, almost 18 years of my life, I’ve felt the same way about the landing on my stairs. When I see it, stand on it, think about it, I feel this certain way about it. But in a reoccurring dream, I see the landing on my stairs differently. I don’t only have this dream about my stairs, but every location in my house. I find it very strange. My kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom, and hallway are in the same place in both feelings, but I view them so differently that it feels like two different houses.

It has been several years since I’ve had this dream, but it sticks with me. I remember it vividly. In fact, today I was reminded of it while walking through the hallway at school. It made me start thinking about how every student of my high school views their typical school day. It’s obvious that each student has different classes and different problems and different lives outside of school. But the fact is, we all walk through the same hallways and park in the same parking lots and hear the same morning announcements. So my question is, can two students view the same place in totally different ways? And as I was thinking about this walking down the hallway, it occurred to me that this happens all the time.

I realize that every human being has been through different experiences—some tragic, some pleasant, some depressing, some exciting. We have all been walking down different paths that lead us to this present moment. But I believe it’s our views about these moments that make up our lives. It makes me cringe when someone says, “Yeah Jimmy had a really terrible childhood, it’s no wonder he has discipline problems in school.” I don’t think that statement is entirely accurate. Although I feel sorry that Jimmy had a terrible childhood, Jimmy might just be the most intelligent, courageous, thoughtful person ever. He might make a difference in the lives of others. He might be hiding behind the shield that allows him to misbehave instead of being held accountable for his actions. Jimmy’s life could be “good” or it could be “bad” all based on the way he views his life. Does he want to be successful? Does he want to break out of the bad childhood to become a strong independent man who can conquer his dreams? Jimmy’s life, consisting of the same events, can be either wonderful or terrible depending on his view of his life, just like in my dream.

Categories: 2016, Life, Mind, People, Reflective, Success, understand, World, Writing | Leave a comment

Happy New Year

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Happy New Year fellow bloggers! May your 2016 be filled with great achievements, kind words, and beautiful places.

For those of you who make New Year’s resolutions, how long do they last? Speaking for myself, I’d be lucky to make it the month of January. That being said, I don’t make resolutions necessarily. Rather, I improve my way of life throughout the whole year, or try at least.

I push myself to become a better person. I push myself to become “good” at something that interests me. I push myself to be kind and do things for the greater good of everyone, not just myself.

Steps to do these things can be minor. For example, I have a fascination in pictures. I enjoy taking pictures, being in pictures, organizing pictures, and editing pictures. My instinct every time after a picture is taken is the see how I look in the picture. If I don’t look decent, the picture becomes “not good” in my mind. It doesn’t matter how anyone else looks because I didn’t even look at them.

As a part of my progress of becoming a better person, I have told myself to look at the picture as a whole before I look at anything else. Is the lighting acceptable? How about the location? Does everyone have their eyes open? At the moment, I can successfully do those things and then I look at myself. Maybe one day, I can do those things and then look at everyone else before myself.

It’s a minor goal, I realize. But I feel as though little things such as this go further in shaping my life. Yes, I could make an elaborate New Year’s resolution and try to convince myself that I can achieve it. However, goals are meant to push yourself just enough, but they must allow you to see success.

I wish I was able to put my head to one thing and stick with it. Some of you can and you achieve amazing things because of it. That is one quality I wish I had and hope to have in the future. I believe there’s a trick to it. The trick is probably different for everyone. My trick is using small things to practice such as changing the way you look at pictures. Then when you get proficient at small activities, challenge yourself a little more.

My hope for all of you is achievement this year. Big or small, accomplishment is encouraging.

I’ll be rooting for you! Please root for me as well.

I have a great feeling about 2016. It’s my high school graduation year! I’ve been waiting for this year for a long time. I get the opportunity to go to college and learn to be on my own. Not to mention, I get to pursue my dream career of being a nurse. I can’t wait for all the opportunities and although the shift to adulthood will be tough, BRING IT ON!

Happy New Year! Life is good…

Categories: 2016, confidence, Inspirational, Life, Mind, New Year, Passion, People, Reflective, Success, Thankful, World, Writing | Leave a comment

How does an average girl thrive?

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How does an average girl thrive?

I’m just an average girl still deciding where to part my hair…

I’m just an average girl who’s makeup looks different everyday…

I’m just an average girl trying to conquer my own style…

I’m just an average girl with average problems and an average judgment on life

My message to the world is this: there are more average people in the world than not. So how do average people thrive among others? The answer is they don’t. They do not thrive among others. To others, they are not special. Be special to yourself.

I do thrive. I thrive in my world. I think I am a cool person. I admire my extreme bedhead and I am in awe of how my hair can get in such an awesome position. I enjoy writing because I inspire myself. I like playing tennis because it is a fun sport, not because I’m that great at it. I think going to school is fine because I usually daydream and am content in my own mind. Sometimes I don’t do my makeup very well (mostly because I’m not good at it) just so I can look in the mirror and laugh at myself. When I get haircuts, I get it cut to that awkward length between long and short to remind myself that I am neither one. I am in the middle. I am the middle class that doesn’t stand out. My fingers are long and crooked. Sometimes I paint my nails in hopes that I become a hand model. But I don’t. Because my fingers are still crooked even with painted nails. I am claustrophobic. I can play such a mind game that I can make myself claustrophobic in an open room. Sometimes I write with my opposite hand and claim I am ambidextrous. But I am not. Even though the words look okay when I’m finished, it takes me a while to write it because my hand is shaky. I don’t have one store where I buy my jeans. It’s usually where I can find an extra long, because I’m tall. I don’t buy expensive prom dresses, and I certainly don’t get my hair and makeup done. I do it myself and see if I look just as decent as everyone else. My handwriting isn’t big and plump, nor small and neat. In fact, on two different days, my writing looks like it came from two different people. My legs are never shaved at the right times if at all. I never know the latest fashion, but I try to catch up just as it’s slipping away. I might be a little late to the trend, but I make my own trend since it’s so long after everyone else. I don’t have a favorite artist or band. I’m not into acting or music. I can sit in complete silence and think of something funny and laugh like a hyena. Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times or pick up on the punch line a little late. People will say things to me and I’ll smile and nod because I have no idea what they’re talking about. I have a lot of issues that stem from three things sticking up in a row. That probably doesn’t make sense but it’s like staring at a train wreck. You want to look away because it disgusts you, but you just can’t look away. I get chills from hearing a metal spoon touch the bottom of a metal pan. I’m not good at decorating things. I’m an extreme control freak. I think I can do anything. I trust myself more than anyone else. Sometimes I tell myself to remember a certain moment just to see if I can remember it months later. Sometimes I can, but most of the time I don’t. I really like looking at clocks and making patterns. I don’t like odd, prime numbers. They irk me. I’m superstitious and make my own superstitions. I like talking to myself in a mirror. I question mirrors a lot, and I try to convince myself that maybe I don’t look like what I see in the mirror just like I don’t think I sound like what I do on recordings. I don’t like movies, really. Action movies are okay. I like sitcoms and TV shows in which I can relate. I don’t like eating the standard three meals a day. I prefer to eat when I’m hungry and the amount I eat depends on how hungry I am. I love to people watch and hate when I’m staring at someone and they keep catching me staring. I wish they would just go along with their business and let me watch them. I never have the right things to say, and later I laugh at myself for being so socially awkward. I’m a different person to everyone I encounter. I’m not sure why or how, it just happens. I can keep a secret like no one’s business. I try not to lie, and when I do, it’s because I convince myself it’s the truth. I like taking pictures of strange things to look at later. I like taking pictures when people are laughing because it’s so natural. I get super anxious in situations with lots of people around. My favorite animal is a pig. I’m not sure why. I like stuffed animal pigs and paintings of pigs but not so much real life sows. They aren’t as cute. I hate when people yell at me or even raise their voice. In fact, I hate when other people are getting yelled at; it makes me feel awkward and embarrassed for them. I’m super scatterbrained and have to really push myself to focus in one area. I give everyone an equal chance of leaving their imprint on me. I’m like sand, footprints come and go, but I hold onto the ones worth holding onto. The footprint doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to be interesting to me. Many things are interesting to me. And the footprints I like most are the ones without painted toenails. Don’t try to fool me, I can tell if the toenails are painted. I can also tell if the toenails are painted but don’t look quite right. I try to tell these footprints how much alike we are.

These things I like to call quirks about me. Everyone has them. Some of them are insecurities, some are just little tidbits about the way I operate and how I think. The crazy thing about insecurities is how simple they are and how abundant. The trick to dealing with your insecurities is to claim them. Shout it out loud that you’re secure about yourself. I am my own best friend. I like having friends but my power comes from thriving when I am alone. If you love who you are, everyone else will too. My style may not be in the clothes I wear but in the quirks I have and the way I embrace them. Everything in this world is a beautiful thing. Everything you encounter is there to help you become who you are. Challenges? That’s life. Confidence? That’s success…

Categories: confidence, Inspirational, Life, Mind, Passion, People, Quirks, Reflective, Secure, Thankful, Things about me, Thinking, World, Writing | Leave a comment

1, 2, 3, 4, …….5

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You go through stages in life. For a long while, you’re obsessed with yourself. Everything revolves around what you want and what best accommodates you. This stage goes from birth to a variety of different ages, depending on the person. The next stage is the transition from being obsessed with yourself. You wouldn’t think a transition would have it’s own stage, but it very well does. It’s a crucial stage because this is when you give up a little selfishness. You try to decide if it’s what you really want, because everyone holds on to a little self-obsession. The third stage is the bliss. It’s the utterly beautiful time in your life. It’s when nothing seems to go wrong. You are happy all the time and sometimes laugh midst pure silence, because you are just that happy. This stage may take one year, it may take five. Regardless, you don’t know how long it is because you are so happy. Stage three goes by so quickly and before you realize it, it is gone. Perhaps at the end of this stage, you say something like, “Time needs to slow down; I can’t believe it’s already ____”. When you make this wish, you don’t think it will really happen. You expect time to pass just as quickly. However, time granted your wish and it does slow down. Welcome to stage four. This stage kills the buzz of stage three, slightly. You brush your teeth and stare in the mirror more often in stage four. You have a little more time for the simple things. You might even start flossing in this stage. You may doodle or read or get a facial. Maybe a massage here or there, even though you are still young. You try to catch your breath in stage four; you try to rest. That’s not to say you don’t go out bowling on a Friday night or ski in a calm bay at the lake. You might roll your coins and cash them in at the bank or paint your toenails a soft shade of pink. You may look at someone’s faded swimming trucks and smile, because you were the one with them through the fading. Stage four is a smooth stage. This time is special because you feed your self obsession with entertainment from the world. And I suppose stage five is next. I have not lived to see stage five yet. I’m looking forward to it.

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Enjoy your meal

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It’s 8am and my alarm clock is going off. If it were anything else, I would hit the snooze. I have to work at 9am and I have to take a shower and try to eat some breakfast before going to the very place that serves breakfast. It’s only about 15 minutes away from my house so around 8:35, I start to put on my work attire. I wear a white collared shirt and black pants and a green stained apron that spells “Bob Evans” across the front. I put on my black shoes I bought from Walmart. I wear black socks too, because my pants are too short and you can see my ankles when I’m standing a certain way. Then I make sure I have my nametag on and my waitress writing pad in my apron pocket. By this time, it’s 8:47 so I rush off to my car to head to work. When I get there, I get out of my car and go in the front door. It’s a Sunday morning and the place is hopping. There are about ten servers going this way and that. Most of them take the time to tell me good morning. Some don’t talk to me for the entirety of their shift. I look at my section on the floor chart and notice that all of my tables are being occupied. My section was in the old section of a server named Faye. She is very sweet and is always courteous as to make sure her tables are cleaned as soon as her tables leave so that I can start getting tables and making money. I am her relief since she was the opener which means as soon as all of her tables leave, she can go home. In the mean time, I try to stand somewhere out of the way. There is no silverware to roll and really, nothing for me to do until I get a table. They start opening up and I get my first table of the morning at 9:32. It’s a man and a woman. They look to be in their middle 50’s. I grab two things of silverware and make my way to the table through the crowd.

Good morning, my name is Mesa and I’ll be your server this morning. Can I start you out with some hot coffee or tea?”

Black coffee and a water,” the man says.

Large white milk with my meal,” follows the woman.

They look down the entire time, both staring at their phone. I wonder why they didn’t get separate tables because they aren’t cherishing their morning together. I grab the coffee and water for the man and get nothing for the woman. She wanted her milk with her meal. I take it to the table and the woman decides she also wants coffee in the 2 minutes I’m away.

Yes ma’am, any cream for you?”

No, just extra milk. And you might also want to bring a pot of coffee to leave at our table. We drink a lot.”

We aren’t supposed to bring a pot on Sunday mornings because the dining room is so full and we don’t have that many pots.

I would if I could ma’am, but we can’t bring pots on Sunday mornings because we are so busy. I will make sure your cups are filled as well as I can! Plus, I’ll bring hot coffee each time,” I say with a smile, hoping they are okay with that.

Okay,” the woman says, still looking down.

Are you all ready to order, or do you still need more time to look through the menu? I can also answer any questions you have about our menu.”

We are ready I guess. I want the Farmer’s Choice Breakfast.”

I paused for a few seconds hoping he would continue to tell me what he wanted so I didn’t have to ask him about everything.

Hotcakes or french toast? Bacon or sausage? Hashbrowns or home fries? How would you like your eggs?”

He mumbles answers to all of my questions and the woman orders a sunshine skillet. I go to the computer and scan my card and punch in their order. Then I stand around waiting for something to do. I go to the fridge in the back and bring up more milk, butter, and salad base. One of the servers thanks me and says she had been meaning to do that. I smile back at her. There is now some silverware to roll so I stand in my corner and start rolling it. There are about 6 servers standing right in front of the grill line when the cook yells “ORDER OUT!” None of them bother to scan the ticket and take the food to the appropriate table. Apparently it wasn’t any of their orders. I scan the ticket and see the order belongs to a lade named Denise. She has worked there for probably more than 10 years and has gray hair. Scraggly grair hair. Not like the sweet old grandma gray hair. I look at the ticket and get the food all on a tray in order by seat number, like we are supposed to do. I look around for Denise and see her walking by. I tell her that her order is up and she quickly thanks me and takes the food out. I then see my order come up in the window. Everything is there except the sausage links that I see sitting on a plate near the grill. I take a second to double check if everything else is ready and then get the nerve to ask the cook if my links were done, because I see them sitting there. I realize that she hasn’t sold my ticket yet; however, I know she has a lot of tickets back there and perhaps she forgot to give me mine. I was not prepared for what happened next. She yells at me in a voice that could be heard through the whole dining room. She says that I had no reason to ask about my order because she hadn’t sold my ticket yet. I apologize as she throws my sausage links on the hot plate and hands me my ticket and screams “ORDER OUT!”. She knows I am standing right in front of her. She didn’t have to scream in my face. One of the sausage links falls off the plate because she slung it so far. There were supposed to be 3 links and now there are just 2. I don’t say anything. I just grab the milk for the woman and take my order out to my table as tears form in the back of my eyes. This always happens to me. I don’t want to seem like a cry baby because I rarely cry for reasons that you would think I would. And I don’t even cry now. I just have that feeling like I’m going to cry and it makes my head pound and my voice shaky. As I deliver my food to my table, I try to sound calm and collected when I ask, “Do you all need anything right now?”

No that’s all,” says the man.

Enjoy your breakfast!” I say.

I get seated again. It’s an old couple at a table by the window. I introduce myself and they order their drinks. I bring the drinks and then take their order. It’s a simple order and they say thank you after everything they say. They even tell me how sweet I am and how much they appreciate the good service. The old man tells me I look like their granddaughter. I smile and carry on conversation with them for a little bit. Then I go put in their food and check on my first table. They are doing okay and I bring them some more coffee. A little while passes and my first table leaves. They leave me $5 on the table. I put it in my pocket and clean the table. Then I take the food out to my second table. They say thank you as I knew they would and ask if they could bother me for some napkins. I grab the napkins and smile as I deliver them. Then I tell them to enjoy their meal. I get sat again. It’s nearing noon and the customers are starting to order lunch items. I grab two silverware and go to the table.

Hello, my name is–”

I want a water with no ice and a coffee with cream only if it’s fresh and a bowl of beef vegetable soup with lots of crackers and a cup of ranch and Linda over here wants banana nut bread and a water with lots of ice and two lemons. But who’s asking?”

I guess Mesa is asking sir.” Even though I didn’t really ask anything.

Mesa will you be back to our table with all of that stuff?”

Yes I will try to remember all of that.”

It’s not that hard Mesa, just remember….” as he goes on to repeat all of the stuff he just said.

I make my way back to the server line and start gathering the list of items he requested. I never heard what Linda’s voice sounded like. She just smiled and giggled at her jerk of a husband. I manage to make it back to the table with all the correct things for this round. Then round 2 begins.

Now I want a cheeseburger, just the cheeseburger. No fries or anything. And I want that with pickles and onion and tomato and lettuce and ketchup and mustard. Please don’t forget the mustard.”

Well that please sounded weird coming out of his mouth. Even if it was sarcastic.

Oh and don’t put that order in until I tell you. I want to finish my soup. And also, Linda wants a farmhouse garden salad with ranch dressing. But she wants her salad the same time I get my cheeseburger. So don’t make her salad until I say so either.”

I started out writing the order in my writing pad, but that ended very quickly as I started drawing arrows to what I did write and writing instead “jerk, jerk, jerk”.

Do you want me to look in your pad and make sure you got everything right?” he asks..

No, I got it.” I say in a very monotone voice.

As I start walking away I hear him call my name again.

Mesa, I usually don’t eat my whole cheeseburger. Are you hungry? You can have half.”

I wanted to throw up in my mouth. This wasn’t an offer that makes you smile and remember how everyone has some good in them like you might think. This was a degrading offer. An offer that made me want to spit in his cheeseburger when it came out.

I don’t like mustard. I’ll bring you a to-go box. Thanks though.”

The man ate all of his cheeseburger so the to-go box wasn’t necessary. He must have been unusually hungry today. It was time for my break so I ordered a kids cheeseburger. I get everything half off so the kids burger ended up being only $1.29. I got my cheeseburger and put mustard all over it and devoured it.

The rest of the day went on. I can’t remember much else about that day.

And all of this to say one thing. Everyone is human. Everyone likes hearing please and thank you. Whether you are a manager of a large corporation or a server at Bob Evans. It’s my job to serve food. And I would run around all day bringing things to that old couple who said I looked like their granddaughter and wouldn’t think twice about it. But Linda’s husband must have thought when he stepped foot in Bob Evans, he was the king. I know the rule is “customers first”. But I added an ending to that saying.

Customers first, jerks last.”

Sorry for the negativity. I really do enjoy working at Bob Evans. The people are very pleasant for the most part and I enjoy serving the majority of the people who walk in. I appreciate sweet tables and I certainly have had enough of those tables to write a whole other story. But I felt like this story should be shared. If nothing else, next time you’re at a restaurant, just smile. You might just turn your waitresses day around.:)

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Blissful Life

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Oh how many times I fall in love with the world.

The utter beauty in campfires and long hikes in the woods and country music and the lake.

The beauty of all the things here, all the things that mean so much to me.

Good laughs with family and friends and precious time with a boyfriend.

The blueness of the sky and the whiteness of the clouds.

The fresh air I never can breathe in as deeply as desired.

The morning birds who sing their songs…always make me want to sing along.

The cool, crisp fall nights.

They happen in a blink, but always leave their imprint on me.

And then when I snuggle in my bed, I think how blessed I am to be a part of this forever changing, forever glorious, forever bliss we call life on Earth.

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Love the blue skies, but believe in the overcast…

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The black clouds
Overtake the blue skies
The land becomes dark
But how can I despise?

For the realization of an instant
Began the agonizing thought
That nothing is the same forever
Why does this make me distraught?

I put my love and trust into forever
And now that is gone in a blink
The mourning lasts for a couple days
I can only hope the pain will shrink

When my view of everything
Was only days to come
I felt as though I had no other moves
And my once uplifting spirit was so very glum

But when the tears vanished
And my blurry vision was no more
I could see the future with determined eyes
It was like nothing I’ve felt before

For now I walk with a smile on my face
Not because loved ones can ever be replaced
But rather because I know my life has a plan
And the lesson being taught has only just begun

With that being said
The knowledge of the pain
Will be forever present in my brain
But the uttermost hurt, with time, will shed

Time with my precious kitty
Meant the world to me
And although she is gone
Her spirit lives on

My head is held high
And I do things to make myself happy
I can’t dwell on the past
Because what then is my future?

How can the dark clouds make me angry?
I have much enjoyed the blue skies
But everything must come to an end
I will muster my strength by knowing there are worse cries

You must experience the pain in order measure the pleasure
Love the clear skies, but believe in the overcast…

P.S. We got a pregnant kitty and she had five healthy kittens on Tuesday night.:)

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Categories: Animals, cat, Inspirational, Life, Love, pets, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The venture past comfort, and into magnificence…

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I tried diligently to make this into a poem…but 3 sit in my computer’s trashcan. I felt as though this topic should be expressed more similarly to the words I would speak. (P.S. Sorry for the lull in my writing…the sense seemed to vanish in the transfer from my mind to paper.)

I spend many nights worrying about where I am headed in life…career, location, and mental condition. I know this seems foolish, beings that I am only fourteen years old. My sister and I went to public schools through my freshman year and her sophomore. That being said, we are very familiar with what public schools feel like and had a stable basis to make our decision to become home schooled. We are both very good students, likable people, and had no problem “fitting in” at public schools. We had straight A’s all through elementary school, middle school, and the part of high school we attended. There was no struggle for either the academics nor social life. Our decision to become home schooled was based on our need to learn at a faster pace, and our yearn for freedom.

Public school for some students is great. It gives working parents a daycare for their kids and provides the sometimes much needed routine in kids lives. You learn the basics of responsibility and communication, and you learn reading, writing, and arithmetic. I am glad I attended public schools for the time I did. However, sometimes when I think about still being in public schools, I feel trapped. I feel like I am sitting in neutral with no ability to shift into drive.

Having the opportunity to be home schooled was a blessing (thanks Mom!). I feel free and smart and independent. I have a blank page at my fingertips with every color available. A common misconception about home schooled students is that we are antisocial and never get out of the house. When people make snarly comments about the home school stereotype, I almost chuckle under my breath. Being home schooled has made me the opposite of that.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about life. We go to school to prepare ourselves for life; then at twenty years old, we set off to become something suitable for society. But what is the definition of success? Making all A’s through high school, going to college, and choosing a good paying career? I always pictured myself doing just that. However, since we made the change, I not only feel stronger in my academic ability, but stronger as a human being. Being different is tough. It’s hard to get the average person to understand…therefore I suppose that’s why they are average. Having the yearn and the confidence to break away from everything you’ve ever known is difficult. You get looks and questions and furrowed brows. But when I grow old, I want a story to tell. I want a depth to my childhood. And most importantly, I want to develop a tough skin to face the rest of my life.

When I picture my life in ten years, I see a blurry picture. But in reality, what kid has their life totally planned? Of course I want to go to college, I want to own my own house, I want to live somewhere that makes me happy, and I want feel thrill as a part of everyday life. Writing down the things I want is the easy part, but making that happen will have to be worked on with each bridge I cross. But really the biggest challenge is figuring out in my own head what would accomplish those hopes and goals…and that, will take many years of trial and error.

When things are all said and done, my goal in life is to do the things I want to do. I want to experience things worth experiencing and I want to leave the world having done something I’m proud of. I want to make my own decisions, be my own person, and be happy wherever life takes me. But as a part of being me, I want to create dirt paths veering off from the pavement. As I travel down my path, I will stumble upon gloomy premises and dark nights. I will be frightened and will think of the worst case scenario. But when I reach the ravishing blue skies and waterfalls, I will know that my path is the only one that ended up here, past comfort and into magnificence.

Categories: Inspirational, Life, Mind, People, Reflective, Things about me | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Birthday to my Sister

Girls in Hats 2
With her strength

I can stand

With my pain

She offers her hand

With her humor

I giggle

With her tickles

I wiggle

With her open arms

I fall

With her uplifting spirit

I stand tall

With her sadness

I mourn

With my wrongdoings

She scorns

With her mother-like qualities

I am cared for

With her warm heart

I will be loved forever more

I want to wish my big sister and best friend a Happy 16th Birthday! Thank you for all you’ve done for me and for giving me a friendship that will last forever…I am truly honored to have you as my sister. You are my role model and I look up to you in every way. Happy Birthday! I love you!

Categories: Life, Love, Reflective, Thankful | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

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